Where Do We Go To Just Be? The Disappearing Third Space and Why It Matters More Than Ever

Do you ever get that feeling? Like you need to get out of the house, but you don’t want to go to work. You want to be around people, but not necessarily with people. You want connection without obligation, conversation without an appointment, and warmth without needing to spend $6 on a coffee just to sit down. If you know that feeling, congratulations — your soul is craving a third space.

Let’s back up for a second.

In the world of sociology (don’t worry, we’re not going full textbook), there’s this concept called the third space or third place. Your first place is home. Your second is work or school. The third? That’s the magic zone. It’s the park bench where you watch the world go by. It’s the community centre craft group you swear you’ll join one day. It’s the local library, the multicultural food fair, the book club, the Saturday morning yoga in the park. It’s any place where you can just be — as yourself, without pressure to produce or perform.

But here’s the thing: these spaces? They’re disappearing.

Wait, What Happened to the Third Spaces?

Let’s call out a few culprits:

• Capitalism (our old frenemy): More spaces are being monetised. You can’t sit somewhere unless you buy something. Community halls now cost an arm and a leg to book. Free events are being replaced by ticketed ones. Even the humble local coffee shop has become a hotspot for remote work and laptop screens.

• Urban planning (or lack thereof): Modern cities aren’t being designed for community. We get high-rises without courtyards, streets without shade, suburbs without walkability. Where do you loiter if your neighbourhood doesn’t even have a bench?

• Tech and social media: Online spaces are not the same. They offer dopamine hits but little depth. Sure, we might share memes and join a group chat, but we’re missing the shared laughter, the body language, the casual "hey, how are you really?" that can only happen IRL.

• Post-COVID habits: Let’s be honest, we’re still recovering. Many of us got used to our own company, forgot how to small talk, or began to associate crowds with danger. The social muscle has atrophied, and rebuilding it takes practice, patience, and... places to go!

Why Should We Care?

Because third spaces aren’t just nice. They’re necessary. Social connection isn’t a luxury add-on to life, it’s foundational to our wellbeing.

Study after study tells us that strong social support is one of the most protective factors against anxiety, depression, burnout, and even physical illness. People with strong social connections live longer, recover faster, and are more resilient in the face of stress. And spoiler alert: therapy alone isn’t enough. Even your therapist will tell you that.

You know what actually works wonders for your mental health?

• Bumping into someone who remembers your name

• Feeling safe to express yourself without judgement

• Sharing food, stories, or space with others

• Being part of something bigger than yourself

And those things don’t happen in isolation. They happen in community. In third spaces.

Enter: Umeed Psychology (Yes, That’s Us)

We saw what was happening. People were craving community. Not in a structured, clinical sense — but in a real, warm, human way. So we decided to reimagine what a psychology practice could be. Not just a space for healing in the traditional sense, but a place where people could come together, learn, laugh, rest, and build collective care.

Here’s how we’re creating third spaces at Umeed through our community events:

1. South Asian QueerSpace
A safe and affirming space for LGBTQIA+ individuals of South Asian heritage to connect, share, and build community. We honour the complexity of intersectional identity and provide a space where culture and queerness can coexist freely.

2. Cha in the City (Men’s Group)
A welcoming and relaxed space for men to engage in meaningful, grounded conversations over chai. This is a space for unpacking identity, connection, and growth — without the pressure to have it all figured out.

3. South Asian Women’s SafeSpace
A monthly community gathering for South Asian women to connect and unwind in a culturally-safe environment. We explore themes of identity, family, rest, creativity, and joy — with chai, food, and plenty of heart.

4. Cultural Canvas
A vibrant, creative initiative celebrating stories, culture, and community through art. These events bring people together to co-create, reflect, and share narratives in a non-clinical, expressive setting.

5. Uplift & Changemakers Project
This is our incubator for community impact. Through workshops, mentoring, and storytelling, we support young people and community leaders to become agents of social change. Because mental health includes hope and action, too.

6. Book Club: Booked, Blessed & A Little Bit Stressed
Our not-so-typical book club, where we read stories that speak to us — whether they make us laugh, cry, rage, or feel seen. It’s equal parts literary joy and collective processing, plus snacks. Always snacks.

The Bigger Picture

We’re not just running events. We’re trying to build a culture of belonging. One where you don’t need to earn rest or justify your presence. Where community care isn’t radical — it’s the norm. Where third spaces are reclaimed and reimagined by all of us, together.

So What Can You Do?

You don’t need a whole organisation to create third space magic. You just need intention. Here are a few ways to start:

• Host a bring-your-own-mug tea circle in your living room

• Leave a book swap box on your front porch

• Share your skills with neighbours (gardening? budgeting? storytelling?)

• Ask your local council what community spaces are underused

• Reach out to Umeed if you have an idea for a collaboration!

Final Thoughts (a.k.a. our heartfelt invitation)

If you’ve been feeling the ache of disconnection — we feel you. And we’ve made a place for you.

Third spaces matter. They remind us that we belong to each other. That being seen and supported doesn’t have to be transactional. That joy, rest, and healing are more powerful when shared.

Come as you are. Bring your whole self. There’s a cushion waiting for you at Umeed.

And while you're here — tell us what you’d love to see more of. What kind of third spaces do you crave? A music jam session? A writing nook? A quiet morning with chai and poetry? A bilingual storytelling night?

We’re always listening. Because building community isn’t a one-way street — it’s a collaboration.

So come hang out. Come connect. And help us dream up what comes next.